The Dark Moon Shift
Here I am sitting in the dark (literally, because it’s early in the morning and I can’t sleep). Typical of the New Moon energies, to leave me here in the quiet to sit with myself in the dark. The same discomfort I encourage you to face (and embrace) during your healing, the Universe also forces me to face.
The energies have been intense lately as they literally pull from us and our lives, all the old fear-based emotions and energies; avoidance of our own light, lack of self-love, lack of abundance, the inability to receive, health issues, etc. Some of us have been actively working towards this massive releasing by meditating, understanding the energetic cycles, eating better, reading the books, journaling, having difficult conversations and completely shifting our focus into our own hearts. We have completely changed our lives for the better, done the hard work and just when you think all is going smoothly, BAM, the shift hits the fan.
There is a reason shift is one letter away from sh@# … because that’s what it feels like when it hits. This is what I am sitting in right now; quietly, alone, in my dark. And I have been working towards this with purpose. I have been manifesting and wanting this. I have been asking the Universe to guide me to this massive shift, to let go of all that is holding me back. And it sucks.
It sucks because change is uncomfortable. I have been holding on to some of these emotions, patterns of behaviour and ancestral traumas for my entire life (as have you). And as they release, it feels at times like I am falling apart piece by piece. But, I am … that is exactly what is happening. Everything that I do not want in my life, but am used to having there, is falling away piece by piece. This is what I asked for and thankfully, it’s happening. And while it is happening, I am being shaken to my core. I can feel it releasing physically from my body as exhaustion, accompanied by aches and pains from the depths of my muscles that I have not experienced before. I have had others comment that they can feel it in their blood. The healing and releasing happening right now, to all of us, runs very, very deep.
You yourself may be experiencing the tears, the aches and pains, the heart palpitations, the mental fog, the stomach upset, the relationship blowouts, the headaches, the feelings of being lost and unfound, the chaos erupting around us outside of our control, the people around us clearly shifting, and more … they are all part of the healing, shifting process. You are not alone. Simply listen to what others are saying right now and you will see the patterns of shifting happening to everyone, whether they are aware of it or not.
All I can do now is allow the healing, the shift to happen. To trust and have faith that I am going in the right direction and that all this is happening for my benefit, despite how it currently feels. I am not fighting it. I am not in my head, stressing and trying to figure out how to get out of it. I am not begging others to validate my existence so I can feel secure. I am not blaming others for all the wrongs in my life. I am letting it all fall away because I am so tired from holding onto it for so long and wishing it would quietly go away on its own. I am taking care of myself through this inner storm by allowing the rest, eating better, drinking lots of water, meditating, not forcing myself to do more and by being as gentle and compassionate with myself the entire time. I am allowing the fear to fall away, piece by piece, knowing that love will begin to fill those spaces once they are empty.
When this shift is over, I will be stronger. I will be that much closer to the life I want to be living. I will be that much more of my true authentic self. I will feel grounded, more secure and have a deeper faith in the Universe (who gently guided me through a very uncomfortable storm). I will have a clean slate to which I can build the life I ultimately desire, piece by piece, the way I want it. I trust.
As I sit her writing this, the sun is coming up. As I sit here typing out and exposing my wounds (my darkness) the light is coming up to shine on them, as it always does, exposing the shadows and making them disappear into the radiance of light. As the sun comes up, I can feel my own light rising within me.
The New Moon is meant to make us sit in the dark. She gives us the power to expose and make peace with our shadows through tears, through sitting in our uncertainty and insecurities. As uncomfortable as you may feel in this dark side of the moon, stay with your shadows. Do not push them back into hiding. Acknowledge that they are a part of you. Have the strength to allow the fears to come to the surface, knowing that the light will be along shortly to shatter them into oblivion.